Charlie Brown had it right.

'Tis the holiday season and I start hemorrhaging money and get my biannual migraine. I have always taken the Charlie Brown approach to Christmas, why all the commercialism? To be truthful, I am lazy. I hate malls, crafts, baking, cards and candles. I really hate having to purchase or make said above items.

 

This year I'm sending my holiday greeting cards Digitally,  NO WASTE!
I would love to get a simple email in return, and I want my friends to know..."It's ok, the pressure to photograph your children on the beach in those adorable white or blue roll neck sweaters making them look all nice and clean and cooperative, is off!!!"  See? isn't THAT a nice gift?

All I really want from any of my friends is a quick email that makes me feel one or all of the folloiwing emotions: happy, sexy, needed, longed for, appreciated, admired, and thought highly of.

I think I would be especially happy if I got one that read, "Hey Maya, your butt looks great these days!" or "Maya, you look a little too skinny, have some eggnog for Pete's sake!", I would love said person forever, and there would be bo need to re-gift either!

This type of strategic compliemnt would also be especially good for the economy right now because I would run out and buy the cutest pair of environmentally friendly $300.00 jeans I could get my hands on! That takes care of me for Christmas/Hanukkah/Kwanzaa!

Then there are my children, and kids' stuff is out of control. Why is a matchbox car packaged like a cassette tape from 1987? What is all this brightly colored garish poorly made plastic junk? I'm giving my kids the gift of heat and hot water, I spoil them...I know.

You know what expression really ticks me off?:

"The hard to buy for person on your list."

WHAT??? That person would not ever make my list. Hard to buy for? I can't believe we let those people live. What they receive just isn't good enough? I can't imagine being one of those people that have so  much or that have everything that people would be at a loss as to what I could POSSIBLY need.
I think when my name comes up my family/friends always have a few ideas...A couch, forks, door knobs, chairs, sheets, pillows, tires, toothpaste, bras(ok a bra), milk, light bulbs, ski boots. You see where I'm going with this?  If you are one of those "hard to buy for" people ( and you know who you are) you need to travel to your nearest homesless shelter to see how the other half lives. Hmmm...I wonder if people in refuge camps are "hard to buy for?"

Anyhoo...I am gettig ready to send out my holiday emails soon...I hope you all like them, and don't forget to email me back!

XO,
Maya

Comments

[Terri Conners]

NOW that's the spirit, my friend! I would like to send this blog to the North Pole and have Santa deliver it all over the universe to get everyone thinking like you in time for next year. Please keep blogging... you're great (and your back-side has been looking very svelte lately)! Happy Holidays.

[like minded holiday friend]

Hey Maya! I am with you. Christmas is not about the perfectly bought, wrapped, stressed over gift for each person on your life! I do like to craft and will not hold it against you although I would hope you would come to my craft I am having on Sunday if we lived near.
You will be happy to know that I am making gifts made of recycled bottle caps, toilet paper rolls, bread tags, milk tags, vintage jewelry and such.
And girl, your hair is so beautiful and awesome. You have a fantastic family and you are the funniest!

[neat]

Last year I made everyone's gifts. I made cute ornaments for the inlaws with pictures of my darling daughter. It was a total crackhead project and I had 2nd degree burns on both hands, up both arms, and one spot on my thigh ... but I made all the gifts - and bought myself a laptop. I know for a fact that at least one person on my list had an awesome gift - me :)