the way i see it

If ever a wever..... the Meadowbrook Faire is the one because.....

When is the last time you felt WONDER-Ful ?

I'm not sure if i have ever blogged about the fact that I attended five different grade schools before my parents decided to send me to that "artsy" Waldorf School.

AMEN! I found myself in my element FINALLY.  It was important that my own kids attend and I have not once regretted the decision to send them. 

The magic of Waldorf lives inside of the preservation of imagination and and one of the basic tenets is to leverage the state of "wonder" to inspire learning. No matter where you find yourself (inside it's gardens, walls, classrooms, drawings, or events) you can't help but surrender to that feeling, and the amazement that comes over you when you experience it. 

If ever there were a more inspiring place to feel it; it's the annual Holiday Faire.  

Prepare for a feast of the senses with a truly unique community who embraces all things made from the heart and hand of true craftsmanship. Food, toys, clothing, gifts and furnishings-  don't be surprised if you make the Faire a destination each year to kick off the true feeling of the season as well as the ability to preserve it throughout the holidays.

 

Here are just a few of the things that happen and can be expected... I hope you'll come or find a waldorf school in your area- chances are their own Holiday Faire is right around the corner!

• Each room of the school is transformed into a wonderland of the holidays including gifts, baked goods, craft making, Thanksgiving farmers market, advent wreaths, a beautiful room filled with special books, and a "Bee" room... ( amazing!)
  
• The central room is filled with affordable handcrafted or specialty toys and gifts made in America, Germany, and beyond. Almost anything you buy would be considered "unique" and surely something you would not find lining the shelves of American stores. Plan on finding something for almost anyone on your list especially hard to buy for people!
  
• You don't have to spend a dime to have the time of your life.  Experience the sights, smells, tastes, sounds & textures of the Faire simply by walking the halls and smelling the roasted peanuts & popcorn, cinnamon and spices, pies, baked goods... and fresh pine of course! Listen to wonderful music and enjoy seeing the open delight and excitement on the faces of children as they:
• Ride ponies, create crafts, visit the gnome cave, view the marionette show, chase the pocket lady (who is the hit of the faire and the pied piper of children with her coat of many pockets that turn up trinkets and treasures into the palms of outstretched little hands...)
• Big kids come too- lots of activities including ultimate frisbee and free form hackey sac! It's a social event for everyone!
  

I hope too see you there this year and please bring your friends and family and REPOST! SHARE this post on FB and SHOUT from the rooftops! The Holiday Faire is here!

 

November 20th (Saturday night) is for adults only from 6pm- 9pm

November 21st (Sunday) Faire opens at 10:00 am- 4:00 pm and is open to all.

WHERE: EASY.

GOOGLE MAP IT! (already did it for you just hit the link!)

300 Kingstown Road
West Kingston, RI 02892
(401) 491-9570
meadowbrookschool.com‎

Saying Goodbye to Lisa 1952-2010

The year I was born, my eldest sister Lisa was signing her yearbook and trading senior portraits with her graduating friends at Grosse Point South High School in Grosse Point Michigan in 1970.

                    PHOTO : Lisa Grady    1969

As far as sisters go, she had already lived almost a lifetime ahead of me, and I would only gather her to me as a sibling from pieces of stories, images inside of photographs, and short visits shared together when she would come home throughout her college years and then later throughout her life.

My mother and father seemed rather "strained" by her visits and it was only when i turned eight that and her biological mother passed that I began to really pay close attention to not only the hushed words that seemed to be spoken when my parents thought no one was listening but also to the body language that seemed to say more than words ever could. One rare Sunday afternoon when our family was cleaning out the downstairs basement I came across a box of old photo albums that I quietly took out and looked through.  I recognized a younger Lisa sitting beside her brother Larry, and holding her baby sister, Mara.  The expression on her mothers face was kind of vacant and the angles of her features seemed sharp in contrast to the cherubic rounded faces of her children, and I understood for the first time then, that something was amiss.                                        Grace ( left) Lisa ( Middle) Larry (Right) Mara (Front)

My fathers reaction to my finding only further confused me as he grabbed the album from my hands, and threw it across the room giving me a look I tried never to evoke again as long as he lived.  When i think back, I understand now that it was a look of pain, fear, regret, and denial... and a look that told me that it might take me a half my life to finally unearth the full extent of it's meaning.

For years it was as if I lived a split existence.  My explanation to the normal questions that might be asked at a friends dinner table seemed more complicated when i brought my other half siblings into the discussion so it seemed easier to just pretend they did not exist.  It occurs to me now, that they may have also felt a similar way.  It just seemed easier to pretend lots of things, rather than talk about how come no one ever really wanted to talk.

I remember a few details of being with Lisa.  I remember that she was always happy and laughing, always radiantly beautiful, and always kind of sad.... all at once.  I have some memories that I cherish. One such memory she took me on a bike ride to a health food store (I must have been around four and rode in a seat on the back) to get some Toms of Maine toothpaste before it was famous or even popular.  Having grown up in the heart of the 60's and 70's she was a true radical hippie and never really strayed too far from the roots of free love, drugs, and incense. As i read through her journals I feel like I am reading something out of Almost Famous and casual entries of smoking grass with Jim Morrison, and seeing the BEATLES  live at the Olympia Stadium in 1966.

As a family we always summered in Kennebunk Maine and occasionally my elder siblings would join us at various points but it was incredibly rare for the entire family to all be in the same place at one time. Lisa was always good to me, and always tried to make a connection with me when she was home, telling me stories about her "wild years" and having the body conversations with me that kind of left me feeling rather grown up and oogey all at the same time.  Maybe she thought it was her sisterly duty, but as the years passed I think it makes more sense to me that she'd had enough experience with my own mothers feminine conversational drawbacks to realize that she'd better take the opportunity to enlighten me lest i also end up with a small babe and clueless in my teenage years as she had found herself.  I can remember laying on Parsons Beach in Maine learning about ovulation as she casually rubbed suntan lotion on her hippie hairy beautiful legs, every so often taking a sideways look at me to make sure i was taking it in.  She'd smile her squinty sparkly smile and reassure me that it was "all very normal."

                                    Dad Lisa and Mara in Kennebunk at Mothers Beach

When i finally did learn what took place in their lives before I was even a sparkle in my Dads blue irish eyes I sadly realized that she must have been quite brave, and alone in life, and never once complained or caused much fuss with her "new" family. She never spoke ill of her mother, and never once ill of my father, and always kept a positive note in her voice, and optimistic words on her lips...even after she was diagnosed with Lou Gehrig's Disease in 2006.

If pictures could tell stories they might tell me that looks can be deceiving, and that when you've lived with the kind of pain and heartache she must have lived with that over time... it can make you sick.   Maybe that's untrue and a bunch of hogwash... but I know enough now from my own experience that when you shove something down inside yourself for long enough it shows up somewhere in your body and makes you sick. In her case it slowly paralysed her limb by limb until she could do nothing more that accept her time when it arrived last Tuesday morning to take her back to a kinder place where she could move in freedom again and rock her gypsy soul. 

Lisa was my blood, and my flesh and bone.  We had the same father, and yet two vastly different upbringings.  Her mother had been a major alcoholic and child abuser. By the time she was fifteen she had considerable experience with "checking out" through drink, LSD, cocaine, pot, etc. She had been raped while out scoring and virtually abandoned by her mentally ill mother to raise her younger sister, and had had her needs repeatedly neglected by our father who was unable to rescue any of them from the hell they were living while he immersed himself in his work as a surgeon.  To add insult to injury once his wife was properly institutionalized he married a woman only twelve years older than Lisa and proceeded to start over to make a new life, and a new family (insert wince here.)                                             Larry and Lisa 1956

When you are left to your own devices to raise yourself and your younger sister you can make some fairly large mis-steps... and so she did.

Seth and Sara... her children, I write this part to you....

Your mom was a beautiful person who brought light to so many people who met her. I hope you'll remember her for her shining moments, and work to forgive her for what she lacked. 

I can't pretend to know why she made some of the decisions she did- I can only tell you that I believe she did the best she could under the circumstances, and did the best job she could do with the information she had.  She loved you both SO VERY MUCH and she is in a place now FREE from all the pain, and all the hurt.  Your mom was so courageous and so strong and in the grand scheme of things never lost her sense of humor, and never once complained about her lot in life. 

I like believing that there are no accidents, and that as individuals we are born into our spiritual "family" each with our own role to play.  Even though Lisa was not an actual consistent physical presence in my life she was highly instrumental in so many ways in helping me put so very many pieces of our family life together. Her story, her footprint, and her existence has always made a HUGE impression on me and I'm sure that even though I say goodbye for now, that she will forever be a part of my life and certainly a piece of my heart.

                                        Lisa @ Maryjanes 60th Birthday Party 2000
I want you to know that WE ARE YOUR FAMILY and I wanted you to know this side of the story so that it might offer you some comfort as to why some things happened the way that they did. Your Pip (grandfather) loved your mom, my sister, and wanted to make things right, but he was aso weak in many ways and limited in his ability to communicate because he lived with such guilt over her childhood, and the many things that happened to all of them while he was "away."

I want you to know that I love you, and that even though things have maybe been strained throughout the years it has been because no one had all the pieces of information that may have made for a more involved relationship - all of us.  I am not much older than you, and I too was very much in the dark to what you yourself lived through your upbringing.

In saying goodbye to Lisa, I want to make sure i tell you again that I love you, and that I want to continue to know my sister and continue to try to bring healing and humor to our family's life in her memory.

I wanted to leave you with this song because it reminds me of her...

Download 05 Into the Mystic

and I also want to offer to TALK and SPEAK openly whenever you may need it.  In saying goodbye to your mom, I want to say goodbye to the silence that has been the legacy of our family.

I will tell you everything you want to know and if there is anything that haunts you & we don't have answers for i will do my best to get them for you....  xoxoxoxox

all my love,

Aunt Monica

 

ZAPPED : Unraveling the Mystery of What Ails You

 

(Image credit from Etsy's Vinyl Soul and Harper Collins Publishers)

When Harper Collins Publishers sent me ZAPPED by Ann Louise Gittleman, I was annoyed with myself for agreeing to read and review it. 

I was even more annoyed that I'd put off doing it,  have a nasty cold and hardly felt like writing a book report.  It's very title threatened my lifestyle and I braced myself in opposition as I interpreted it's glowing orange cover and it's byline as a warning to clutch my digital and electronic treasures close while she tried to tell me why they are inherently bad for me.

It's simple: I WANT my MTV, TV, cell phone, Mac, digital camera, ipod touch, wireless phone, microwave oven, Wii, TiVo, remote control for TV & said TiVo, iPod docking station, air purifier, invisible-fence collar for my dog, wireless mouse, dishwasher, blender, stove, refrigerator, Keurig one cup coffee machine...... and I really don't want anyone telling me that I should not have them. (Not to mention I felt a bit like like my fathers generation wanting to "Pshaw" the hogwash fruitcake rantings of yet another evangelist proclaiming electronic pollution "NONSENSE!" he would have cried!)

By page eight, I was truly spellbound and fascinated by what i was reading:

1) Ann Louise Gittleman is no fruitcake, but in fact a highly educated, thoughtful and introspective woman   who's credentials include a PhD, CNS, and is an award-winning New York Times bestselling author of over 30 books on natural health, beauty, internal cleansing, and weight loss.  Most impressive right off the bat is her innate way of immediately connecting to the reader (me) by letting me know we're both on the same team.  She immediately establishes her position as an avid user of technology and electronics, while simultaneously introducing the hazards of it's usage and the inconvenient truths that if brought to light, may help many of us to feel better physically, mentally, and emotionally. The good news is that once you know what you did not, you can fix it!

The opening pages set the tone of the book by first and foremost establishing human beings as "energetic" beings whose own complex circuitry is specifically designed and "wired to respond to the world around us."  One of several example she uses is what happens when we "touch" an antennae when we can't get a picture on TV or a radio station only to have it come in clearly until we step away, our body having momentarily been the conduit for the flow of energy.

This past winter I learned my own invaluable lesson about my "energetic" body having gone through the emotional transition of closing a business, and heading down the path of divorce. I was depleted of energy, and my inner balance was completely disrupted by my emotional state. What manifested was various types of illness including autoimmune issues, deep depression, nutrient depletion and even physiological changes to my body.  My way back to health after trying almost everything was to finally seek acupuncture.  Anne sites acupuncture as just one scientific example of how energy can get stuck or stagnated inside the body creating blockages and "dis-ease" which can lead to almost any health issue or ailment. Once manipulated or "cleared" this energy can then flow freely bringing the body back to a state of homeostasis and balance, thereby reestablishing wellness in the body.

As human beings we can be in or out of sync with our internal balance by what happens in either our inner or exterior worlds, and our very biochemistry shifts to accommodates those influencers.  When our energetic being is disrupted or compromised it can literally effect every aspect of our lives including decision making, emotions, and health.

So if we are energetic beings made up of our own frequencies and our own intricate and delicate wiring?  What happens when these frequencies are repeatedly interrupted by other sources of energy?  What happens when several devices in several rooms of our homes interrupt our bio chemistry repeatedly over days, months, and years?

2) The fact is that many of us have adopted technology and all it's modern conveniences without much thought about how it might be effecting our health over the long term.  We are wired for instant gratification, and the conveniences and benefits of modern technology are countless and undeniable but nor are the many ailmets of the masses who now suffer from headaches, fibromyalgia, anxiety, insomnia, chronic fatigue, depression, cancer, attention deficit disorder, and the list goes on, and on, and on.

What if by eliminating digital debris we can feel better? healthier, more energetic, sleep well?

Ann Louise creates a very compelling argument for the eradication of these maladies by giving excellent examples of individuals who have determined the source of their ailments, and gone on to  lesson or eliminate their exposure to certain environments or devices which were in fact making them sick, and in doing so have embraced a new bill of health.  Some solutions are as simple as changing the location of your cell phone at night. 

3) Ann Louise has a healthy and growing body of experts who are in agreement with her findings, and compliment her work.  The beauty of  ZAPPED is not that she is presenting new material that's been previously undiscovered (although there is plenty of that) but instead in how she fluidly, factually, and categorically lays out the material for her reader in such a way that they can easily connect the dots to expose the whodunit of the modern day digital thugs, killers, muggers and terrorists.

In short- Zapped is fascinating, filled with some amazing information, tips, recipes and suggestions for Zap-proofing your life.

Historical, factual, interesting, and informative, Zapped is a great read for anyone who is interested in technology, ecology, health, nutrition, wellness, the digital movement, homemaking, and parenting.

It reads like a wonderful expose on a culprit who may have been an obvious suspect all along , but got away with the crime until someone came along with the right mix of skills to lay it all out. What better way to spend my morning with my box of kleenex than on a couch curled up with a good mystery?  Elementary My Dear Watson!

 

 

 

 

Go Stuff Yourself.

I've seen some stupid products before but I'm pretty sure this is right up there at the top of the list.

For the ultimate wacky holiday gift this year you can make your favorite person into a "stuffed animal."  Scary.

Of course this also puts a new spin on the VOODOO concept so I can also totally imagine making this idea even more perverse than it already is:

1) Get one made of your "favorite" boss man and you can take him to the office for a few laughs. Can you imagine where he might end up or what might get done to him once you all have your way?  Imagine "Charlie" getting pinned up on the dart board or doing the cubicle rounds. Might be a great outlet and very cathartic for everyone. Poor Charlie... he's a DEAD MAN.

2) My mom is the type to get "head shots" done of herself at really cheesy photography studios and then get then blown up on canvas to "gift" to family members. A "Mary Jane" doll might just put me over the edge but again- going down that cathartic path idea: had I had one of these growing up I could have made her more "available" for the safe sex and body image conversations we never had.

3) Have your favorite person made into a stuffed doll....

Ok- can you see where i am going with this?  It's just so wrong that I am gonna stop... 

4) I have a hard enough time waking up in my own body every day let alone waking up to a "stuffed" me. WHY WOULD YOU EVER? But I do know a few people that are so full of themselves they would probably think this was brilliant! Seriously though... gives a new meaning to "inner child" and if I was not busy beating the stupid thing I could cuddle it in my arms and sooth my wounded "inner child" in a much more tangible and completely off to the nutter house way.

You won't hear them advertise any of the above ideas but that's why I get paid the big bucks ;)

For more information "shirt up" and go to their website.

As always I appreciate any feedback, comments, or general cries of outrage.

So about that show BIG LOVE.....

I kind of get it.

Who wouldn't want a few extra hands around the house? Someone else to do the shaggin when you are not in the mood? 

How bout a sista to help with the laundry, cooking, caring for the kids?  I mean- truely- It takes a village....

If you are the same jean size you just doubled your wardrobe for nothin....lets not even TALK about the shoes.

It's extra comforting to have her tell us our ass looks GREAT in that pair of jeans, and that the muffin top you aquired with the birth of "our" children only adds to the beauty we radiate daily...am I right?  I mean, as long as she does not mess with my hair products I'm a happy camper.

134 Spring Street

A few things I miss about having my retail store on Spring Street in Newport Rhode Island:

Jimi, Sarah, Terri, and pretty much everyone I worked with (god we had fun.) Fibber Mghee's closet, Betty Ann, my wonderful (and I do mean wonderful) customers and ......drum role:  GERMAN WOODEN TOYS. 

What is it about these toys that just light me up inside?  I have them all over my home, and I know my children love them but you know who they are really for right?  Yup. Yours truly.  It seems reasonable to have them out everywhere in the house because they double as decor and I have young children but I honestly dont see that changing even when they are older and no longer at home! How embarrassing...I mean- how do I explain to my boyfriend that I have a German wooden toy fetish?

In all the years I had my store I have to say that every day I opened that door and walked over the threshold I still had the experience of wonder that made it special to me.  I rest assured that countless others had a similar experience who maybe could not quite put their finger on what made it a special place, but take it from me.... it was the German Toys! Cheers to all who loved it!

OH- PS: We have a facebook page and you can fan us and keep in touch!

Per usual - every christmas I place a small order for German toys and will no doubt put my order in soon so if anyone would like to order something- please let me know! I'll post some of the images in the next few posts of the items that will be considered! Stay tuned and as always I welcome any comments or feedback in the comments section below!

Add It Up.

I am so very impressed with so many of the artisans on Etsy.  I thought this gift I came across was simple, beautiful, and brilliant for kids.  Great way to inspire imaginative play, as well as visual math skills- a subject that I was always struggling to understand as a child. In addition to simple adding and subtraction skills there are 21 eggs in all and would serve to teach primary and secondary color skills and the list goes on!  Take a spin on Etsy for some handmade gifts this christmas and suprise and delight someone special in your life with something truly unique and support these wonderful craftraprenures!

The Cycle of Abuse

 

Abuse comes in many forms. It can be physical, emotional, and mental.  

If not "caught" early enough or at all, it can continue to perpetuate in what can be an endless multi- generational cycle wrecking havoc on the lives of those it touches. 

The most insidious part of abuse is that most of us who have been victims of it, or who perpetuate it have no idea.  I think about the men and women who "tolerate" abuse and don't even realize:

A) What it is they are experiencing

B) That it has a name

C) That there is a way out

Most people think of abuse as the "obvious" "physical" lashing out, and many might think of only women as victims but this is not the case at all. 

Abuse: is the improper usage or treatment of someone or something for a bad purpose, often to unfairly  or improperly gain benefit.....

Here are more of the characterizations of abuse- it's interesting how many of us can say we have done the following or have had the following done to us and deemed it acceptable or excused it in some way and PLEASE- we all know that some of these fall under the heading of humor etc,. so please know that i am talking about a prolonged way of relating to another....

1) Invalidation 

2) Character Assassination

3) Sarcasm

4) Bullying

5) Defamation

6) Head Games

7) Insults

8) Humiliating

9) Pulling Rank

10 ) Negligence

11) Passive - Aggressive Behavior

12) Persecution

13) Predudism

14) Rudeness

15) Teasing/ Taunting

and then strait from Wikapedia:

Characteristics and styles of abuse

Some important characteristics and styles of abuse are:^[54]

• overt abuse
• covert (or controlling) abuse
• unpredictability
• disproportional (exaggerated) reactions
• dehumanization and objectification
• abuse of information
• impossible situations^{[clarification needed]}
• control by proxy
• ambient abuse (gaslighting)

Telltale signs of abuse

Telltale signs may include:^[55]

1. isolation
2. irrational jealousy
3. subtle presence of physical violence
4. discounting, minimizing, and trivializing
5. criticizing
6. withholding
7. blaming.

 Psychological characteristics of abusers

In their review of data from the Dunedin Multidisciplinary Health and Development Study (a longitudinal birth cohort study; n = 941) Moffitt et al.^[56] report that while men exhibit more aggression overall, gender is not a reliable predictor of interpersonal aggression, including psychological aggression. The study found that whether male or female, aggressive people share a cluster of traits, including high rates of suspicion and jealousy; sudden and drastic mood swings; poor self-control; and higher than average rates of approval of violence and aggression (in American society, females are, on average, approved^{[clarification needed]} of violence against males). Moffitt et al. also argue that antisocial men exhibit two distinct types of interpersonal aggression (one against strangers, the other against intimate female partners), while antisocial women are rarely aggressive against anyone other than intimate male partners.

Male and female perpetrators of emotional and physical abuse exhibit high rates of personality disorders.^[57][58][59] Rates of personality disorder in the general population are roughly 15%-20%, while roughly 80% of abusive men in court-ordered treatment programmes have personality disorders.^[60] There are no similar statistics on female perpetrators of family violence due to bias^{[citation needed]} in the data gathering procedure. The only statistics available are the reports on child maltreatment,^[61] which show that mothers use physical discipline on children more often than fathers, while severe injury and sexual abuse are more often perpetrated by men.^[62]

Abusers may aim to avoid household chores or exercise total control of family finances. Abusers can be very manipulative, often recruiting friends, law officers and court officials, even the victim's family to their side, while shifting blame to the victim.^[63][64]

 Effects of abuse on victims

Main articles: Complex post-traumatic stress disorder and Psychological trauma

English et al.^[65] report that children whose families are characterized by interpersonal violence, including psychological aggression and verbal aggression, may exhibit a range of serious disorders, including chronic depression, anxiety, posttraumatic stress disorder, dissociation and anger. Additionally, English et al. report that the impact of emotional abuse "did not differ significantly" from that of physical abuse. Johnson et al.^[66] report that, in a survey of female patients (n = 825), 24% suffered emotional abuse, and this group experienced higher rates of gynecological problems. In their study of men emotionally abused by a wife/partner (n = 116), Hines and Malley-Morrison^[67] report that victims exhibit high rates of post traumatic stress disorder and alcoholism.

I write this post for a few reasons:

1) I am really sad as I continue to witness abusive situations that people tolerate from others, and want to speak up and out on their behalf bringing to light new information that may help them to realize what they are experiencing and give them a name for it. It's wrong to be made to feel bad repeatedly by another person. It's NOT OK.

2) I am irritated by the ignorance of people who do not have additional information on the subject and invalidate the one who has been dealing with the issue or make their own assumptions adding insult to injury. Abuse can be very subtile, and very camouflaged.  In other words- the most amazing, charismatic, and seemingly genuine person can also be an abuser which make it even that much more difficult for the one being abused because NO ONE else can see it.

3) It's all over the press all the time - but most upsetting recently are the young gay community members who are choosing suicide rather than face the continued bullying in their community. 

4) My mother called me on the phone tonight to tell me that she is going to a class for battered women. Many of you know that my mother was a nun before marrying my father.  My mother told me today that in listening throughout the class (thinking she was offering herself again in service to another) realized that she in fact fit the criteria of someone who has been a victim of abusive.  LORDY LORDY There is a GOD. My mother has lived her whole 70 years never realizing that there was a name for what she experienced growing up, and then in her marriage to her husband ( my dad who I love dearly,) and how she can now see how it was played out all over her life and how and why she even made many of the life choices she made in an effort to "please, tolerate, appease, accommodate, avoid, etc." which is all the behavior of the victim who has been conditioned to think of themselves as the problem.

Now here's an interesting question:  How do you think her role modeling played out throughout my childhood?  What messages were sent? Not sent as I watched her do the dance of victim? Leads to new discussions, new territory we've never explored.  Maybe there is a chance for my mother and i after all. 

In conclusion I want to state that this is not a post about airing my dirty laundry.  It's a cautionary tale about taking a good long look at abuse as a theme in life and realizing that it can take many forms, and can create many illusions.  If you are a victim, it won't just be you it affects over time.  It will affect your children, and your children's children, and their children's children, and - well... I think you get the idea. 

If anything in the above post rings true in your life.... there is help, and you can break the cycle.

As always I welcome your comments and thank you in advance for reading. 

A Prayer for Senpai Josh

Instead of paying the bank loan this month I surrendered the money to Senpai Josh.

My son Shaw has had such a struggle with self control, and since my husband and I separated I've been wanting to introduce him to something that would support him and be a constructive and positive outlet for his energy and his emotions.  I think even under the best divorce circumstances - kids have an inner life of confusion and upset that I think is unavoidable.  My heart breaks when i wonder if Shaw needs that extra special positive influence to help him balance the tides.

I met Senpai Josh at the toy store where he was refilling the brochure rack and asked him about classes for Shaw's age group.  He was so genuine and positive - i was immediately impressed.

That afternoon- he met with us and showed Shaw what Karate was all about and before leaving I signed on the dotted line and gladly emptied my wallet.

 The first class was about respect, and team spirit.  Karate seems to fit the bill for so many of my desires around positive role modeling: confidence building, team spirit, exercise, self discipline, and the list goes on but more than that was Gabriel 's Karate which has been recommended repeatedly for the specific teachers ( love Andrew and Josh!) and the "type" of martial arts training they teach. 

Shaw's eyes were like saucers, and he walked out of there with his chest puffed up in pride.  I had buyers remorse for two more days until the second class, but seeing his reaction, and his face again was worth every penny.  I particularly love the fact that his male teachers can talk about "inner strength," resilience  and leadership with the children and demonstrate what it is, and what it looks like.   I also LOVE that there are just as many girls who train ( girl power!)as there are boys. 

There have been a few nights now where i have gone to bed with a prayer of gratitude on my lips.

I caught a few pics so you can see what i mean about his face: 

Something to Share

Beautiful fall weekend.  The air was chrisp and the leaves on the trees seem at peak now.  I've managed to get out a catch a few opportunities to shoot some images- but last night I felt competely awed by the beauty that was the sunset over Newport RI.  The sky was simply burning, and it seemed like everyone who was outside was running to the place where they could catch the beauty of the colors as the sun blazed it's finalie into the skyline. Wow- it was something and so i wanted to share what i saw.....