'Tis the holiday season and I start hemorrhaging money and get my biannual migraine. I have always taken the Charlie Brown approach to Christmas, why all the commercialism? To be truthful, I am lazy. I hate malls, crafts, baking, cards and
candles. I really hate having to purchase or make said above items.
This year I'm sending my holiday greeting cards Digitally, NO WASTE! I would love to get a simple email in return, and I want my friends to know..."It's ok, the pressure to photograph your children on the beach in those adorable white or blue roll neck sweaters making them look all nice and clean and cooperative, is off!!!" See? isn't THAT a nice gift?
All I really want from any of my friends is a quick email that makes me feel one or all of the folloiwing emotions: happy, sexy, needed, longed for, appreciated, admired, and thought highly of.
I think I would be especially happy if I got one that read, "Hey Maya, your butt looks great these days!" or "Maya, you look a little too skinny, have some eggnog for Pete's sake!", I would love said person forever, and there would be bo need to re-gift either!
This type of strategic compliemnt would also be especially good for the economy right now because I would run out and buy the cutest pair of environmentally friendly $300.00 jeans I could get my hands on! That takes care of me for Christmas/Hanukkah/Kwanzaa!
Then there are my children, and kids' stuff is out of control. Why is a matchbox car packaged like a cassette tape from 1987? What is all this brightly colored garish poorly made plastic junk? I'm giving my kids the gift of heat and hot water, I spoil them...I know.
You know what expression really ticks me off?: "The hard to buy for person on your list."
WHAT??? That person would not ever make my list. Hard to buy for? I can't believe we let those people live. What they receive just isn't good enough? I can't imagine being one of those people that have so much or that have everything that people would be at a loss as to what I could POSSIBLY need. I think when my name comes up my family/friends always have a few ideas...A couch, forks, door knobs, chairs, sheets, pillows, tires, toothpaste, bras(ok a bra), milk, light bulbs, ski boots. You see where I'm going with this? If you are one of those "hard to buy for" people ( and you know who you are) you need to travel to your nearest homesless shelter to see how the other half lives. Hmmm...I wonder if people in refuge camps are "hard to buy for?"
Anyhoo...I am gettig ready to send out my holiday emails soon...I hope you all like them, and don't forget to email me back!