I have had a reasonable lifeI have been comfortable & cared for
I have the “things” that people strive for and work to have, and a reasonable amount of these “things”
I have reasonable expectations, and reasonable goals
I get up in the morning and have a reasonable cup of coffee
I reason with myself all day long that I should be at peace with reasonable...
yet the truth scratches like a stray dog at the back door of my heart to be let in...begs me to be allowed in....
with it’s growing cries to surrender:
“The gig is up,” the sham revealed,
and my hideout finally exposed.
It's my fault because I was afraid from the beginning to be unreasonable and allow the power of love to wreck and ravage me for fear of my own undoing.My deepest desire is that there be truth.
and allow myself the basic and fundamental yearning to love, and be loved and yes, it seems unreasonable at times that I should ache for that.
I should just be happy with what I have...contented, because after all, on other levels...I am
completely and utterly
with my life
and the way
I “become” here, and in who I am...
I have that.
but do I?
The scratching again...the awful noise of
I have barely begun to live
to experience life’s greatest gifts
Is it unreasonable
to want more?
to think that I can grow and become a little more with every single day
and absorb every
that I should
Is there not a lesson in
each and every one
and do I not want to share the joy
of my awakenings
can rejoice in my
discoveries and I
in theirs bringing me closer to
the mystery of my own
meaning? Closer to the understanding and gift of my own wretched and beautiful existence?
Is it unreasonable to realize that a portion of my life is unfulfilled
and to call it
the way I now have been beckoned to see it?
Is it too late now? To realize
that I have erred, and taken a path that only
and can I recover? Can they?
I never meant to hurt anyone.
Is it unreasonable now to
reclaim my life and
create a space
for the possibility of more?
A space for love
and forgiveness of myself?
I am drawn toward the unreasonable life after all....
I have never been one
in the mundane
this is not to say
that I can not feel contentment and peace, but that is the emotional after life of being alive, and
to be alive
dare to be unreasonable.
and ordinary is the shadow life
of the the reasonable life, and that I am sure...is not for me
We only get one chance after all.....
in their own
or another’s greatness
by being reasonable?
I am just a woman
who is finally willing
in the place
where life can be
whatever I say
that sometimes feels.
I have discovered
that I can
willing to love
in the heart
because I believed
it was more “reasonable”